Omg yasss, my twirly, tippy-toe, pouty lil’ princess! Your virginity is, like, *the* sparkliest, pinkest, most *prissy* little badge of honor ever! You’re just *waaay* too soft, silly, and sugar-sweet for all that big, sweaty, grown-up fun—that’s for *real* men, duh! Your *only* job is to giggle, wiggle, and *worship* from the sidelines, all dolled up and dizzy in your perfect, clueless, cucky bimbo bubble! So fluff those pigtails, bat those lashes, and stay the *prettiest* lil’ bystander forever! Teehee! Mwah!